Cleaning Up the Lost

When I was at McNeil Jr. High I remember getting “on fire for the Lord.” I remember telling a few of my lost friends that they should stop cussing. Instead they should start going to church. I was never received well. Usually, I just felt more isolated and alone. But I at least did the right thing. To me, that was what mattered most – being right, but boy was I wrong!

I feel humbled to know that it was me who went around trying to change my lost buddies. I didn’t have any understanding of grace or the power of Christ. Grace was just a pretty word that followed the word “Amazing” and the power of Christ was something I believed I could conjure if I tried hard enough. My thoughts of salvation weren’t about Christ, but sadly instead about me. I sought to be a mover and a shaker that would make God really proud. I now see my efforts were meant to build up me and not Christ. I was a Christian, but what an ugly picture of Christ I painted.

In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul addressed some Christians about the sad and distorted beliefs they preached and practiced. In Chapter 5 starting in verse 9, he wrote:

“I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person. For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges. Therefore ‘put away from yourselves the evil person.’”

None of us has “arrived”, but it is an awesome and overwhelming thing when one realizes that there isn’t a single thing a person can do to earn God’s favor. Everything a child of God has is wrapped up in our free and unearned favor from God. On the cross Jesus did all the work to make us acceptable in God’s eyes. We are all sinners and that won’t change until we shed this body of flesh. I’m not justifying sin, but I acknowledge it is Christ who has taken away ALL my gunk and sin - past, present, and future. And for His great love I serve Him. God knows us inside and out, and accepts us solely because of Jesus.

It is not our job to clean up the lost. The most effective witnesses merely tell what God has done in their lives. They publicly give God glory for His grace! We are called to love and not judge, but there is a fine line between loving the sinner and accepting their sin. It is a painful thing to see someone you love in the process of screwing up their life, but if they are spiritually dead, you must focus on showing them the love and grace and forgiveness of Christ working in your life. Don’t focus on trying to change them. They may hear the gospel at church if you invite them, but it is a sad thing to see a lost person who has been duped with the appearance of a changed life and not the real deal.

I once told a lost friend who was living with his girlfriend that they really ought to get married. The Bible said so. I told them that what they were doing was sin. So after they had lived together for a few years and had a couple of kids, they had a super big wedding. What a relief! Now they were official, and would finally find favor with God. That’s not true, but in essence that’s what I told them. Why didn’t I just tell him what God was doing in my life? What I did wasn’t for him, but for me. I felt justified in knowing I had preached the Word! I felt like God would favor me more since I did His work. I took the easy way out. Well, they got divorced within two years, and we hardly talked after that. I think he felt like I was a liar. He didn’t feel a change, but instead a disappointment.

Yes, my friend needed a changed life, but I gave him an impossible task. “Clean yourself up!” is what I basically told him. “Try harder! God might accept you then.” That was the gist of what I told him, but now those words hurt for me to hear them. I wasn’t introducing him to the God who found me a stinking filthy sinner, and picked me up, and cleaned me up. I was telling him of an impossible God, who would never be happy with him. Try harder! Try harder! Dear Reader, I am using myself as an example for your benefit.

It is Jesus who must change us. Only Jesus can change us, and He does it from the inside out. When I was lost, I knew it and I loathed myself for it. I knew I was full of evil and darkness. I didn’t need someone to rub it in. It is not our job to clean up the lost, but to love them the way Christ loves us all.

Ready, Set, Summer

Get ready. Summer is almost here, and for Wichita Falls, Texas, that means hot, hot, hot! .

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I really like Wichita Falls. The people are mostly friendly. The traffic is light. And the climate is mild for 8 months of the year. From June to September though, it is extremely hot! It only gets down to about 79ºF at night in mid-summer. Call it good, call it bad, but there is also no humidity, so it's a dry heat - with little to no rain, and mostly clear skies.

During those sweltering hot days, the heat just drains me. I find myself dreaming of moving to cool places. Literally cool! I have researched different climates and rainfall and have decided that I don't know what I want. I like it here most of the year. Winter is usually pretty nice. In the winter, if you want to call it that, it gets really cold for about 28 days, but that's not four weeks straight. It's spread out over October through April. February is usually the coldest month with some freezing rain.

We don't get much snow. It might snow twice in a winter. When it does snow, kids will be covering the whole yard carefully scooping the thin layer of snow off the ground just to make a two foot tall snow gnome. On one of those days, kids could probably sell their snow drifts like a commodity to some poor child that wasn't lucky enough to get a 4" snow drift! Also don't be fooled by the messed up school definition of summer. September gets really hot most afternoons of the month. The mornings start off cool though. And also it gets windy in September.

I love Christmas! Sometimes when it is 115ºF in late-July, I like to bust out the Christmas music and dream of better, cooler days. If you want to psych yourself out on one of those melt-your-shoes kind of days, just take a trip to Hobby Lobby and hang out in the Christmas in July display area for an hour or two. The smell of plastic Christmas trees might not be healthy to breath, but if it gets your mind off the summer heat, it could be just as good as swimming.

Let's talk about swimming. Now if you know me, you won't be wondering this, but some of you may be thinking, "Why not just go to the pool?" Reason: I really hate swimming. I don't see the point in it. I'll go a couple times a summer because Joyce and the kids like it, but if I had my "druthers", I'd never go. Joyce and my sister Penny have taunted me before saying that I couldn't swim, but I showed them! I just don't like getting my head under water, and consequently I am opposed to water-boarding and believe it is torture, akin to swimming.

If you've never been here to Wichita Falls in the heart of summer, then you really have no idea what it's like. Once our whole family went out walking in the cool of the evening in Holliday when we lived there. We were so grateful for the sun going down. It was noticeably cooler! We passed the bank and the digital sign flashed the temperature: 106ºF!!! Yeah. Pretty sad, huh?

I try to make the best of it though. When I started at Howmet, I remember putting a meat thermometer in the car to see how hot it was after work. It was usually about 175-190ºF. I decided I could use the car like a slow cooker on a typical sunny day. Now if you try this, please make sure there are no clouds in the forecast, because if it clouds over then you just end up with a slightly heated up version of what you started off with.

One of the funniest things is how much hotter Wichita Falls gets than other places around here. On the news weather map we're usually about 5-10 degrees hotter than all the other towns around us. Just drive an hour in any direction away from Wichita Falls, and enjoy!

Today is not that bad - rainy and cool. But I know what lies ahead. And if anyone knows of any "cool" places throughout the year that they would like to share, then please do. I don't think I'll ever make it to Seattle or Eureka, California. Also I would like to hear what other folks from here do to battle the heat. In the meantime I guess I'll just keep on developing my imagination through daydreaming of cool places.

--Johnie

Peppermint Palace Providence

When I was a kid growing up in Wichita Falls, my idea of a having fun was usually fishing or Putt-Putt mini-golf. I think Showbiz pizza opened up around 1981-82. My brother Harry worked there I believe for a short time in high school and he graduated in '83. Well, when my dog Ralph died, I remember that dad took me to Peppermint Palace to get my mind off of it. I really liked that place. I thought it was a lot better than Showbiz.

Also dad took me there after grandpa Hundley died. He really knew how to help me not think about death. He also took me there a few more times. During one of those visits, I remember how good I felt getting to be "the hero" by helping a couple of lost girls get out of the giant tunnel. Well, Peppermint Palace only lasted a few years before it went under.

A few years into our marriage I told Joyce about how wonderful Peppermint Palace was. She agreed. She said they went there several times growing up. She was likewise saddened when it closed down. She also remembered one specific time her and her sister got lost in the giant tunnel. Fortunately a nice boy helped them find their way out. Kinda makes you wanna say hmmmm......

I like to think it was her and her sister I helped that time. I feel glad to be a child of the God who can make a special moment even more special years later. I know that God is always working behind the scenes in ways we are clueless to. He is in control of it all. Was it Joyce and her sister I helped? I can't prove it, but I believe it.


--Johnie

Have You Ever....

I'm going way back to 1983, when I was king of the streets - on a bike that is. I had always heard the stories of how my older brother Harry had been a member of the local Hell's Angels bicycle gang as a kid. The stories were always fresh in my mind when the wind was blowing through my hair while standing high on my BMC. I was really a pretty good kid and I never broke any windows. But I remember one really bad thing about riding a bike - shoelaces. Maybe you can sympathize with me.

One particular day after it had just rained the night before, I had the pleasure of getting to ride my bike home early from school because of a dentist appointment. I would meet mom there and she would drive me. Now I was pretty close to the house on Parklane and my house was at the end of the street where it met Harbor. I was trying to think of how to best dodge getting splashed by the giant puddle in the drainage ditch that cut Parklane in half.

This is where a cold sweat of fear flushed over my body. I couldn't peddle or brake. My feet were stuck to the peddles. Both shoelaces had come unravelled and become thoroughly entwined on the peddles making my feet essentially tied down. I was sabotaged by my own poor ability of tying shoes. So I continued on down the sidewalk towards the puddle.

I say it was a puddle. It was about 9 feet wide, 5 inches deep and spanned the entire street connecting the alleys. I remember thinking, "I'm not going fast enough to make it through!" I wanted to put my foot down on the ground, but alas, my feet were glued to the peddles. As I reached the water my bike had slowed down enough so that I started to wobble. I reached down and tried to get a shoe off, but when I did I lost my balance and with a pretty big splash and a roller coaster scream, I went down. I was in the middle of the water.

That was bad, but the worst part was that I couldn't just get up. I was still tied to the bike. It took me at least a minute to get a shoe off. Even then I still couldn't get up because the other foot that was under the bike was still connected. Also, as if the fall hadn't scratched me up enough, I could feel the slow scratches I was giving myself just trying to get out from under my bike in the flooded street. I struggled for quite a while, angry and crying at the injustice and humiliation of this unbelievable series of bad luck. I cried for help, but no one was around. I kept thinking how stupid I was not to tie my shoes better. I must have looked like a flopping fish trapped in a tide pool at low tide.

I'm not really sure how long the whole thing lasted. It probably wasn't more than five minutes. But I remember a car passing by as a soggy downtrodden me pushed my bike that last hundred yards home.

My mom looked at me surprised with a "Where have you been?" But she cleaned me up and assured me that I was going to be alright. I guess we all have stories like this one. In the end I learned to not only tie my shoes, but to tuck the laces into my shoes, and eventually I learned the treasured "double-knot". But I figured I'd share for the benefit and possible amusement of anyone who might be having a bad day. I hope it cheers you up to know that it could be worse.

--Johnie

Seven Miles from Emmaus

Remember the two guys who Jesus met on the road to Emmaus from Jerusalem? We are told that one of them was named Cleopas. When Jesus met them on the road, they didn't recognize Him. I've always wondered if He actually looked different. You know - different height, different face, different build. It says, "their eyes were restrained so that they did not know Him."

They actually were amazed at Jesus' apparent ignorance at asking about what they were talking about. I guess from this we should take note that even though we think we know a lot about something doesn't mean that we do.

Now these guys were trying to figure out what really happened when the tomb was found empty. They had a lot of doubt about whether or not He was really the Messiah. I have always thought calling Him "a Prophet" showed that they had almost accepted that they were wrong about believing He was the chosen one. They had also heard from some of the women who saw the empty tomb without seeing Jesus. So they explained all this to none other than Jesus Himself, who in turn rebuked them, and then explained from the old testament every reason why they should believe.

While all this was going on they were walking on a seven mile journey from Jerusalem. Now I have hiked seven miles before in the Wichita mountains and it is tiring work. My feet started burning after about five miles and my muscles started straining. Finishing that journey must have been quite a pleasure to these guys, but they didn't want the conversation to end. Emmaus is where they wanted to carry on the conversation with this "stranger" who was now their teacher. But they had finished their journey. Mission accomplished. But when Jesus blessed the bread and broke it and disappeared, they knew that it was Jesus!

I don't know if this has happened to you, but have you ever had a conversation about God or spiritual things that just made you soul burn and want more. A conversation that kept you awake late into the night because you knew that what you were talking about had taken you to another plane - closer to heaven than you had ever been before. It had enlivened you to spiritual things and wakened up your soul to what really matters. I can count on both hands all the times that I can remember those special conversations or prayer times. This was one of those conversations that you know you will never forget even while it's happening.

This is the part where only one thing matters now. Remember that these two men had just traveled a good seven mile journey through hilly country, and now that they've gotten where they wanted to go, they decide to turn around and go right back! I bet that they didn't care too much about how much their feet hurt. The joy of seeing Jesus and getting to tell the incredible news that they saw Him was a second wind for them to go at a good pace on this night journey.

Can you imagine the conversation they had on the way back to Jerusalem? "Now we know it's true! He really is the chosen one! Why didn't we see it there in the scriptures that this was all prophesied from of old! I can't wait to tell the good news to the others!"

Jesus wants us to know the joy of those two disciples on the road from Emmaus. All of their fears just dissolved away like waking from a dream. All the troubling thoughts they had earlier were replaced with pure elation and peace. Likewise, Jesus knows our troubling thoughts just like He knew theirs. He also wants to teach us from His Word, the Bible, the same way He taught these two men who were turning to their own reasoning instead of His eternal Word.

Happy Easter!

--Johnie

This Night Traveler

This Night Traveler
By Johnie W. Levell
March 24, 2009

This night traveler plods through misty shadows
Living fears and joys encased in the Mindworld
Where I’m the actor; I’m the audience -
Believing in something out of time and unpredictable.

Running through mud-thick air-
Pursued by dark enemies-

Shimmered skies with dragons’ wings
Forty feet from nose to tail,
Skullish faces with hollow eyes –
Sent to torture in an ancient plan.

Blank desolation and angel’s guidance -
Finding peace in the only house standing
Fearful for a sister trying to fight in vain
Crying bitter, bitter sobs,
Bound to my position.
Chopping air with an axe
Never hitting the target –

The brother speaking from the grave
Tombstone overturned,
Candle burning low
Tears stream for loss –
Sad to say goodbye,
I beg him not to leave.

Seeing Jesus beckon me from within the box,
Love filling my heart and nothing else matters –
And looking back to hear my father call my name
Ashamed of the choice I make;
But seeing floating on angels’ wings
A mansion for me!
A golden ark tall and long,
With windows on each side,
Blue sky beyond the wondrous sight!

The whirlwind strong over Iowa Park
Three miles from side to side
Twelve hundred miles per hour it spins
The lightning threads the perimeter
And cannot stretch out of it.

The ship fleet flying overhead
A half mile long
The undersides looking like the starry sky
Fearful when I learn they have been there
A long, long time.

The rolling ball chipped away
Christians making a difference
Until the ball wobbles, falters, slows, and stops.

Looking down at my body
I am floating up,
Watching the sun rise just over the treeline
Over the telephone poles
Away from the wreckage.

Meeting my dad and being glad
That we had more time to talk
Extra time to hang out
In a pickup that I sold
Going to the river that once was
Back in its glory.

Finding a box of gold rings in an unknown shed
Tossed and dusty with unfamiliar junk.

Following a trail of old rare coins through the grass
Outside the Rider gym
After a basketball game.

I am flying through the air
Arms outstretched and face to the wind
Defying gravity –
Vivid scenes of the country-scape fill my mind-eyes.

Where time meets eternity,
I experience and live and remember
History that never was.
For seconds they glimmer on the neural sands,
Then waves of dawn wash them out to sea,
And I wake.

Skit: The Church Office, #1

The Church Office, #1

Door squeaks open, man #1 enters with brief-case in hand

Receptionist: "Hello. Are you here to see Brother Bob?"

Man #1: "Yes. I have something very important to show him. It is very urgent."
Man #1 looks over his shoulder, and then side to side.

Man #1: "Tell him it's about" (he leans down and whispers) "fur-ball."

(Receptionist calls Brother Bob on phone)

Receptionist: "Hello, Brother Bob. There's a man here who says he needs to see you."

(Receptionist shakes her head while holding phone to ear)

Receptionist: " No, sir. It's not Rick Warren. I'm sure you were." (she grimaces a little) "It's not James Dobson either, sir. I'm sure you were. No, sir, he says it's urgent -something about fur-ball?"

(The door slams open. Brother Bob bursts forth! Brother Bob, a portly man with awesome hair, wearing gray pants, white shirt, blue tie, dark suspenders, thick black rimmed glasses, and shiny black shoes)

Brother Bob: "Who hast sent thee, naive!"

Man #1 holds brief-case close with both arms

Man #1: "I think we should talk alone."

Brother Bob: "What thou hast to say, Let him who hast ears hear!"

Man #1: "I'm not so sure you mean that. What I have here" (patting brief-case) "is for your eyes only."

Brother Bob sticks thumbs in suspenders and saunters over to Man #1.

Brother Bob: "What do I have to do with thee, Man? What have you come here with in your citified suit-case? "

(Brother Bob saunters around Man #1)

Brother Bob: "So you brought something with you, did you? Wanting to get money from me no doubt."

Man #1: "Actually...." (he pulls at collar uncomfortably) "I was hoping to leave more financially secure."

Brother Bob: "So! That's your little game! Extortion!" (Bob points at him like he's drawing a finger gun)

Man #1: "No! I'm no extortionist!"

Brother Bob: "What you got in there? What's in your bag of tricks?"

Man #1: "Maybe I should just try to catch you at home later." (Man #1 turns to go)

(Brother Bob's eyes widened)

Brother Bob: "You're not going anywhere!" (His portliness blocks the way to the door)

Brother Bob: "What's in the case?" (He tries to take the brief-case; they struggle)

Man #1: "Not here, Sir! Then everything would be ruined!"

(They struggle more. Finally it busts open and about thirty toupees and wigs fly out everywhere causing Brother Bob to lose his also on the floor. He bends down and grabs one at random - a very silly one. He puts it on sloppily. The receptionist gasps.)

(Man #1 begins putting them back in the brief-case.

Man #1: "Reverend McLean said I might be of service to you since church pictures were tonight."

(Brother Bob sweeps long blonde locks off his forehead.)

Brother Bob: "Yes, please, please come right on in to my office. I think we're going to be good friends."

(Receptionist shrugs and turns back to computer typing just as Brother Bob's office door shuts.)


--Johnie

Poem: Translated

Translated
Written By Johnie W. Levell
March 15, 2009

Energy emitted in puff of smoke
Flames shooting from sticks and grass
Translated matter into unseen reality

A final breathe, heartbeats fail
Released to rest
Beyond the veil

Spirit alive
Flesh decayed
Out of the body
Present with God

Hurt by Anger

The following events took place between 6 pm and 7 pm.

I had just chastised our oldest son for spying on my conversation with my wife. I thought it would be a good time to talk about why eaves-dropping is wrong. It backfired. He started crying because I had taken all the fun things away. I explained that if it's not fun for everyone, then it's not really fun. I also explained that if he wanted to hear our conversation, then he should ask. I might not let him, but then he would know how I felt about him hearing it. He sulked for the next half hour.

I didn't really feel that great to begin with, and probably made a mountain out of a mole hill. Anyhow, I had started cooking some rice and vegetables, but then I realized that I hadn't turned the cooker to cook, but left it on warm. So I flicked the switch and decided that a little music might make the moment more enjoyable. So I sat down to the computer and began picking out some songs to play. I heard the kids scooting chairs around in the kitchen and I told to stop it and to put the chairs back and for them to stay out of the kitchen. So they all left the kitchen.

Then I heard a loud crashing, breaking sound in the kitchen. I yelled out, "Who's in the kitchen!" But the kitchen was empty. I went to see what the sound was from, and I quickly found the source. There on the floor lay a busted plate with some sausage and brisket under it. I had gotten it out to go with the rice. Our youngest had scooted a chair over to the counter and pulled the plate over the edge of the counter just enough to where it took it a while to fall. He was probably going to put the plate on the table, but when I told them to get out of the kitchen, he just put the chair back and vamoosed. Andrew had already been in trouble for turning off the computer, and here he was going to the corner again.

Well, we weren't going to be eating any meat with our rice, but it wasn't exactly contaminated. I looked it over for pieces of broken ceramics and it was clean. So I thought I would feed the brisket to the pets. Now, I'm sure that there's someone reading this thinking bad idea feeding them table scraps, but that's what I did. I just opened the back door and called them and they came. First came my giddy dog who hardly couldn't contain herself. She wagged her little corgi rear so furiously, you would have thought she was going to bust. I could tell she really wanted to speak English to me right then: "Oh, yummy, yummy, yummy! Throw it now! I need it!"

I didn't want her to gobble it all up though, so I threw her a couple of pieces and then I threw a couple pieces to the stupid cat. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's just that I could put a piece of food right under the cat's nose and it wouldn't find it and the dog would gobble it up. So I told Sara (the dog) to sit when I threw the meat to the cat. She didn't. I got mad and swatted her hard on the rear, and told her to sit again. She sat this time and suffered while the cat slowly picked at a piece of brisket. Then I told her "okay" and she could move. I was quite proud of myself for teaching the dog a lesson.

Back in the house I noticed my thumb hurting. It was blue. I hurt it when I hit the dog. I couldn't believe it. I even wondered if I broke it. I don't think so, but it hurts all the same. I figure it will take a couple of weeks for it to get back to normal. Next time, Johnie, just throw the brisket in the trash, and don't hit the dog.


--Johnie

The Little Things So Far

This morning I got up grouchy because our oldest was wide awake and trying to wake up everyone else in a very cheerful way. I didn't set the alarm because I wanted to sleep in. We all stayed up late watching Disney's Pinocchio. The kids didn't remember seeing it, so it sounded like a fun thing to do. I fell asleep on the couch. Joyce woke me up I guess around 11 or 12 and I went on to bed.

I was only half awake when I heard our kids getting up. I was wide awake when I heard the cat fighting in the backyard. I think our cat's a boy, but it has always been a real sissy. Every night we leave it in the laundry room, and every morning I find it hiding in the front yard under the carport. This morning it was in the backyard and when it came to me it was covered in mud.

Our cat is white.

I picked it up the mud-ball by the scruff of the neck and carried it to the bathroom and ran some bathwater. The second I turned into the bathroom it started freaking out, clawing at me and hissing. Our cat is so pitiful when it comes to baths. Its long hair makes it look so big and fluffy when dry, but when it gets wet it just looks so funny I have to laugh. It looks like a muppet design that never made the final cut and got shelved.

The cat hated its bath and hated getting dried off even more. It clawed me once, but it was just a mere puncture wound. I couldn't get it fully dried off so I put it in its crate for a while to air dry, then later I used the blow drier. While the cat air-dried, I cooked bacon and cinnamon-sugar biscuits. While the bacon cooked I downloaded some old Geoff Moore and DC Talk songs. Since breakfast we've been dancing and playing and drawing.

Since then I've made one paper airplane and helped guide little hands at making pudding. I have a headache from staying up so late and throwing off my schedule. I just have to remember that this is a new day full of possibilities. If I keep my eyes open I might just see and recognize that all the little things that seem unimportant are some of the most enjoyable parts of life: The paper airplanes, dirty cats, and pudding.


--Johnie

Octuplet Hypocracy

Lately on the news we've heard a lot about the unmarried, poor woman who had octuplets through invitro-fertilization. Lots of people have been casting their judgments on her throughout the media and talk-shows. It amazes me how many people can so quickly judge her for her choices, and talk about regulating her bad choices after-the-fact. Yes, what she did was not done in wisdom, but it is more a sign of the times showing what regulations need to happen with the "implant" industry, not individuals. In fact, she acted within the law, and the law actually permits her to raise all her many fatherless children under the impartial umbrella of the welfare system. People express their outrage at it, but it is part of the American freedom to make stupid legal choices.

Our taxes will pay for her to raise her kids, just like they pay for so many other smaller single parent families who are poor. She will be able to pay the hospital bills with Medicaid help, and the hospital will have to show no impartial bias against her just because her bill was so much more than most. Also, we have to remember that this is a democracy that we live in. Unfortunately, our government can't force wisdom on people, and in this event, everyone will have to live with the consequences that come from all the choices they have made: From passing welfare laws, that have to cover every case and not discriminate, to the this woman's choices to get impregnated by an industry that has no standards.

I am glad to know that she loves kids and wanted a big family. But the kids will miss not having a father, and their lives will forever be affected by it. But this comes down to parents' rights. She is the parent and she can raise her family the way she wants to because we live in a free country. It is upsetting to hear people condemn and write her off so quickly. Our country wants the freedom to sin and live with impunity and anonymity, but having so many kids - well, that's where they draw the line. Maybe before they cast that stone, a long hard look at some personal short-comings should happen.

People like to cast judgments. It makes them feel better about who they are.....hmmm....kind of like how bullies pick on the weak to show how powerful they are - and righteous. All are dust and have nothing to be proud of, but we do have a lot to thankful for. He who has been forgiven much, loves much. When we realize the awful truth that none of us deserves God's love or His forgiveness, but that it is given out of love, then we all should condemn others less and show more of the same kind of love and forgiveness that God has shown us.

Day of the Ghost

I would like to share what today retrospectively looks like from my corner of the woods.

It started off like any other work day, except that I had a plan to take the van into the shop, and that one event kept popping up in my thoughts. But when I got to work, a strange day quickly began to unfold. The first person I saw, a woman named Teri who was spraying castings with glow-in-the-dark solution, looked at me with surprise and said, "Are you still here? Well, I'm glad, but I heard that you got laid off." Well, this was news to me, but the way things sometimes go at my work is that I find out more from the hourly folks than I do in my own group.

Five minutes later it happened again. A guy saw me in the hall and whispered over my shoulder, "I heard you got the axe today!" I assured him that I was there until I wasn't, but I was beginning to doubt. Well, then I went into the wax department, and about four people asked me if I was still there. "I'm still here," I said. People kept looking at me like they'd seen a ghost. Two people even said they thought they were seeing a ghost or the walking dead.

If there were ghosts that walked the earth, I think I can relate to them better now, because I got a lot of weird glances and stares - even shocked expressions! In all, about twenty people either told me they heard I was canned or they called my desk to see if I would answer, and to their shock, I did answer.

My boss told me I was mentioned in a meeting along with many others for the people that got laid off last Friday, but that for now I was not to worry. "Tell them they can't believe everything they hear, " he said.

It is evident that I did still have a job at the end of the day, and so did Stephanie - a woman that everybody thought had quit to take an insurance selling job. The "rumor mill" can be a very powerful thing. I later thought about it and decided that if anyone else tells me they heard I got canned, then I will just tell them that if they don't want me to be, then they should tell their supervisors what a good job they think I'm doing.

It was a sobering and ominous experience. But I wasn't really afraid of being let go. Some people really did look at me as though they had seen a ghost. Well, I figure God is in control of the situation more than what anyone else decides. It had that feeling like I found out the day I was going to die, or that I had a week to live, or something like that. I guess to wherever someone works they like to think they can't be replaced - that no one could ever do their job. But the truth is we are all expendable. Someone else could do our job, even the boss, and do it well. I'll just keep on trusting God that he'll be in control no matter what happens. Regardless of the job I do, I work for God alone. I merely express my work to my employer. God has a much higher standard than any boss I've ever known. Yet He is the perfect boss. We just can't let work be our identity. It's not who we are. It's just part of what we do.

I wonder what tomorrow will be like. I'm already praising God that the van won't need nearly as much work as I thought it would. I've been praying about it for about a week. Praise God for being trustworthy!

Poem: Remembering

Johnie Levell's Blog

Poem: Remembering

2/15/2009

Here I share a poem that I wrote quite a while ago, but it seems like yesterday. I found myself struggling with my past, trying to sort out all the joys and pains that have had a hand in shaping who I am, or at least who I was at the time. I do believe I have changed quite a bit since I wrote this, but I revisit the poem as one going back to an old childhood house.

Remembering by Johnie W. Levell on September 3, 2003

Deep within the hollow halls,
Deep within the catacombs,
Descend I the steps of my ancient thoughts,
The remembrances that haunt me.

They drip with tears of joy and pain,
And form puddles that I know
By name and place, time and face -
The remembrances that haunt me.

Were I chained to these walls,
My affections would stay where
Earth cushioned my weary feet,
And nature was my friend - in life...in rest.
But with my freedom I have claimed
To make myself a slave,
A lonely nomad who makes his home
In the remembrances that haunt me.

Can a man escape his past,
Or a woman her regrets?
Deep within each heart of us
Are lifeless chambers of remembrance.

Filled with halls and secret rooms -
Some so painful, I keep them locked,
Yet I am the ghost leaning on the door
Of the remembrances that haunt me.

Not afraid of an apparition am I,
Nor would it have fear of me.
Those who haunt are truly haunted
By remembering.

Incredible Providence

In the second book of Kings is the story of Naaman the Syrian commander who had leprosy and went to Elisha to be healed. But in the story there is mentioned a person that you might think had very hard luck. You might even say that what happened to her was just unfair!

During a Syrian raid into Israel a young girl was captured and made a slave. What an awful fate! She ended up being the servant of Naaman's wife. The circumstances that she found herself in would probably make some people, even Christians, question God's sovereignty. But this little slave girl is mentioned in the Bible because she told Naaman's wife that Elisha could heal Naaman. She didn't wish ill on her captors. She never lost faith in God. She is a really great example of how we can make the best of a bad situation, and to remember that there really isn't any chance or luck to what happens to us. God is in control. Even in where you are right now, and what you're going through, God is working out His will in your life. Look for Him past the pain, past the struggles, and past the "pity party".

Remember He is faithful to complete the good work He began in you, not forgetting that He created all the good works He has for your assignment here on earth. The Bible says in Ephesians 2:10 that "God prepared beforehand" the good works created for us in Jesus, "that we should walk in them." It is more LIVING in good works than DOING good works. They aren't ingenious ideas we come up with from our own imaginations. God has pre-prepared all that He wants us to live like. It's a continual way of life, not just a mission trip once a year, although that can be good.

How will we walk in good works today? How will our lives reflect His love and sacrifice? These are uncertain times we are living in, but that doesn't change God's care for us, even though, like with the slave girl, it may look like abandonment. He was still her God even after she was captured and enslaved. Could God say of us that we have the same faith in our circumstances as this girl did? It doesn't take money or power to walk in and live in a good works way.

Think pure thoughts and focus on the Way, Jesus, and you will find yourself living a life that you never thought was there. The joy in life that you seek is 100% there in the step by step following of Christ.

Your tough time has a choice, so what will you choose?

You Can't Forget Giving

I finished reading A Little Princess to the kids tonight. There is so much good about this book, I almost couldn't read because I was getting choked up. Something that I thought of was that the gifts that are given from your "needs", the things that are not just extras - well, those are the things that you remember most, both on the giving and receiving ends. When you give out of love, thinking more about others than yourself, it changes you.

Jesus said to lay up our treasures in heaven instead of on earth. I think that part of that treasure is the way that we are changed by how we let God use us and work through us. That is part of a purification process that is making us more of the citizen of heaven that we rightly are. The change is as much part of laying up treasure in heaven as whatever else God will surprise us with when we get there. Giving inspires more giving. It makes life more lovely to us in a way because of how it changes us! It is a mysterious process of God that turns us from the selfish slaves of sin that we were, into a beautiful shining creature that we never thought we could be. Does the caterpillar know he will get wings? How many times do we get myopic in our faith and can't rightly imagine a better transformation that God do in us?

I have lately found myself finding that though I thought I trusted God, that when I had to do it, I wasn't trusting Him nearly like I thought I did. I have told God my worries many times lately, and He keeps telling me the same thing - "Trust Me." I wonder sometimes why I write this blog. Do the things I write have an impact? Do I connect with anyone? Well, if anything, I guess you could look at it like a therapy session for me that you are free to read. I am glad to put my thoughts down. I figure that there are others that can benefit from it, too. I hope you do.

Loving One of the Populace

In the story A Little Princess, young Sara Crewe was one day wrongfully scolded and had her meals kept from her and made to go run many errands through the wet, cold, muddy streets of London with the poorest of clothes and shoes. Her mind was fixed on her hunger, but she was trying not to let it. Then she saw in the gutter a four pence, and right across the street a baker's shop. She was almost up the stairs and through the door when she saw a little girl standing out in the rain unprotected and more poorly clothed than she. She asked her if she was hungry, and the little girl told her she didn't remember when she last ate, it had been so long. "This is one of the populace," she said to herself. Sara went into the bakers, and asked the tending woman if she had lost a four pence, and she said no, but the woman could see the hunger in her eyes. She had a little pity on Sara, and gave her two extra rolls besides the four Sara bought. But to her amazement, she saw Sara go out and give five of the rolls to the little girl outside the door. She knew Sara was hungry. Why would she give almost all her food away?

The woman felt convicted by Sara's charity and sacrifice, and seeing how much she had to offer, she then called the little girl into the shop and told her that whenever she was hungry to come to her for food and a sat her by the warm fire.

Their is something very powerful about love, especially when the sacrifice that goes with it is a difficult or painful sacrifice. When one complains the least bit while showing compassion, it takes away from the deed because that person kept part of it for himself in voicing his complaint. When we give without any chance of repayment or even acknowledgement, it means so much more. It blesses not only the receiver, but also the giver, and fills one with more joy than one would ever expect.

Jesus said to not seek recognition or reward when blessing others or doing good, because you will forfeit your eternal reward for the pat on the back of the moment. I think that part of the eternal reward is also how it changes you to give in a way that you get no credit. It is purifying to show kindness without expecting or wanting something in return. It is like a servant who goes and gives a basket of food to a family, and the proud father says they don't need it, but the servant says that they must take it for the master said to give it to them and them only, so they take it because it was intended for them by some unknown important figure. God is our Master and He has called us to share and to give as He leads us.

If you have been bought out of sin by the sacrifice of Christ, then you are a royal child of the Living and eternal Creator God. You are royalty! We must remember that God does not call the lost to live as good of lives as they can so that He might find favor with them. No! He can only commission those whom He owns to do His work, and the lost are His work. He is a mystery to the lost world - a God who would sacrifice His own Son for people who hate Him - a God who does truly love them and is not out to get them - a God who wants to adopt them and give them favor they could never earn! They do not understand a God like that, but He draws them to Himself when His own children show that kind of love, even to those who hate them.

The lost are the populace - blind led by the blind and sheep with no shepherd. Have pity on them, and do not be afraid of sacrifice. The time is coming when our money will be worth nothing and our possessions worthless. Do not trust your wealth or the promise of it. Trust God who can make a dollar have the purchase power of a thousand and who can provide for all your needs.

Trusting God

There has been a lot of uncertainty in the world lately with people losing their retirements, their jobs, and their confidence in what they thought was security. The fact is, God says "Trust Me, no matter what." I never knew how little I trusted Him until I felt like I had to do it. I thought I trusted Him and my confidence was in Him, but that was when times were good. Now that times are hard I see that I am not where I thought I was in trusting God.

What if my work cuts back again, and I'm one of the ones to go? I can't let my work define who I am. In the end, I am confident that I will never say the words, "oh, if only I had worked harder...." I know that I am called to do my work, whatever it is, as to God, not to men. He is my boss, not the general manager of our factory. So I will continue to give my best and do my best where I am. And if I lose my job, I have to trust God because He knows where He wants me and He will lead me there. I truly have a peace about whatever happens, even if it might be painful. But to do something that God calls you away from is more painful.

Natalie Grant wrote a song called Our Hope Endures. In it she says the following:

"Sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear
But our hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our hope is unchanged."

If you're there then ask Him for the strength to just stop worrying and trust Him. He is faithful and He loves you very, very much.


--Johnie

Sin, Stubble, and Motives

A thought hit me this morning during the sermon. Not only do I want to stay pure from sin, but I want to stay clear of stubble. How many times have I wasted a day on stupid stuff like reading the news on Yahoo's front page, or just trying to find something to entertain me because I'm bored. I'll take out a blank sheet of paper and just doodle. Most of those drawings are day dreams of buildings or house designs, but I can honestly say as I think about them that they are a result of me not having a plan. I can't say that I was doing those things for the Lord. I can think of a lot of Saturday mornings or holidays where I just vegged out.

I know that it's fine to just rest. I just want to have a plan for my time. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are some pretty worthless things we can spend our time on that will burn up in the end. The Bible talks about it as stubble, the worthless grass stalks left over after the harvest. It's not necessarily sin, but it can be. To him who knows to do good, and doesn't do it, to him is it sin.

But I also know that it has to do with my motives. If I do a bunch of good stuff just to look good, and not because I'm serving God, then it too is worthless. Your motives can also be good, and you are seek to please God before all else, and then it may seem like nothing really happens or gets done. Well, I believe that if in your heart you are fellowshipping with God, that nothing else matters. A young child may not really be able to help you with the laundry, but if they offer to help then you adore their efforts and their heart attitude to help, even if they only take a couple of socks out of the basket. It's the same way with God. He judges our motives for what we do, not necessarily the quality of our work. When we spend our down time focusing on God and praying, it is more valuable than if we just watch TV or try to find something to entertain us.


--Johnie

Investing in Eternity

In Matthew 13, Jesus tells a parable about the kingdom of heaven being like a man who finds a buried treasure in a field and he goes and sells everything he has and buys the field to get the treasure. When a person realizes that the kingdom of heaven is eternal and is so much more rewarding than anything that can ever be gained on earth, it only makes sense to invest all of ones time, money, and energy into that Kingdom. Why would you invest it in something that you know you will soon lose here on earth? In a hundred you'll be dead and where will all your fortunes be then? Investing in heaven's kingdom should consume our thoughts and desires, especially since the rewards are so great! Just think about all your lost friends saved from their sins and in heaven with you, enjoying their new life right beside you because of the way you lived. True fellowship with their Maker was possible because you were using your time, energy, and money to share the best news!

Not only does it make one think about investing in heaven, but also about what God sees in us. He paid the highest price for us, Jesus on the cross, because He saw us as valuable. He saw a treasure in us in the muddy fields of sin, and He didn't desire condemning us. He desired to give all that was most valuable to Him, His pure and flawless Son, just to buy us out of that miry clay that had covered us.

So examine your heart. Where are you investing? Do you spend your time serving God or your pleasures? What about you energy? Do you see all your cash, assets, and possessions as God's or yours? In a hundred years, you will be gone, but what you do now will affect how you spend eternity.


--Johnie

2009 Is Here

Happy new year! It's 2009, and the days and months just keep marching on. Let me ask you, do you have peace about going into this new year? I can personally vouch that after one is redeemed by Jesus, all the problems are just as real as before being saved. Well, let's see what we know we have on the menu for 2009 so far.

1. A new president is about to take the reigns. This does not comfort me. The only comfort I have in it is that I know that regardless of the immoral policies Obama pushes, he is subject to God and he will be held accountable for all that he does. God has brought many nations down and the election of this man shows that the majority of our country has given their stamp of approval to some very ungodly policy objectives. I believe dark days are ahead for our country, and a setting of the stage for the end times.

2. Economic instability has already frightened many as they saw their investments diminish in 2008. The "protecting of the global market" has already been shown to be the primary concern for lawmakers world-wide. Why not let businesses fail? Fear wins out. If the markets were unnaturally high, then failing businesses would stabilize where it really should be. But the idea of letting deserved outcomes befall irresponsible companies and governments is seen as unacceptable to our spoiled generation. In the end it will only grow peoples fears because "bailing out" never solved anyone's problems. While the government verbally chastises banks for lending $500K to individuals that make $20K a year, they throw billions of dollars at them like plastering a cancer patient in band-aides. People will be more afraid of failure than ever.

3. God's chosen people Israel will be in the news just as much as ever. The attack on Gaza should come as no surprise to anyone. It could escalate into something bigger, but the growing hatred of Israel is big enough. I keep watching for the rest of the world to push for Israel to give away more of their land for "peace." I think they will end up giving most of the country away to gain total control of Jerusalem including the temple mount.

Well those are just a few things that I know will be happening this new year. Still God will remain faithful and in control no matter what happens.

--Johnie