Skit: The Church Office, #1

The Church Office, #1

Door squeaks open, man #1 enters with brief-case in hand

Receptionist: "Hello. Are you here to see Brother Bob?"

Man #1: "Yes. I have something very important to show him. It is very urgent."
Man #1 looks over his shoulder, and then side to side.

Man #1: "Tell him it's about" (he leans down and whispers) "fur-ball."

(Receptionist calls Brother Bob on phone)

Receptionist: "Hello, Brother Bob. There's a man here who says he needs to see you."

(Receptionist shakes her head while holding phone to ear)

Receptionist: " No, sir. It's not Rick Warren. I'm sure you were." (she grimaces a little) "It's not James Dobson either, sir. I'm sure you were. No, sir, he says it's urgent -something about fur-ball?"

(The door slams open. Brother Bob bursts forth! Brother Bob, a portly man with awesome hair, wearing gray pants, white shirt, blue tie, dark suspenders, thick black rimmed glasses, and shiny black shoes)

Brother Bob: "Who hast sent thee, naive!"

Man #1 holds brief-case close with both arms

Man #1: "I think we should talk alone."

Brother Bob: "What thou hast to say, Let him who hast ears hear!"

Man #1: "I'm not so sure you mean that. What I have here" (patting brief-case) "is for your eyes only."

Brother Bob sticks thumbs in suspenders and saunters over to Man #1.

Brother Bob: "What do I have to do with thee, Man? What have you come here with in your citified suit-case? "

(Brother Bob saunters around Man #1)

Brother Bob: "So you brought something with you, did you? Wanting to get money from me no doubt."

Man #1: "Actually...." (he pulls at collar uncomfortably) "I was hoping to leave more financially secure."

Brother Bob: "So! That's your little game! Extortion!" (Bob points at him like he's drawing a finger gun)

Man #1: "No! I'm no extortionist!"

Brother Bob: "What you got in there? What's in your bag of tricks?"

Man #1: "Maybe I should just try to catch you at home later." (Man #1 turns to go)

(Brother Bob's eyes widened)

Brother Bob: "You're not going anywhere!" (His portliness blocks the way to the door)

Brother Bob: "What's in the case?" (He tries to take the brief-case; they struggle)

Man #1: "Not here, Sir! Then everything would be ruined!"

(They struggle more. Finally it busts open and about thirty toupees and wigs fly out everywhere causing Brother Bob to lose his also on the floor. He bends down and grabs one at random - a very silly one. He puts it on sloppily. The receptionist gasps.)

(Man #1 begins putting them back in the brief-case.

Man #1: "Reverend McLean said I might be of service to you since church pictures were tonight."

(Brother Bob sweeps long blonde locks off his forehead.)

Brother Bob: "Yes, please, please come right on in to my office. I think we're going to be good friends."

(Receptionist shrugs and turns back to computer typing just as Brother Bob's office door shuts.)


--Johnie