Catch a Falling Star

Tonight I can't sleep, so I'm up blogging.  I'm troubled by a 20/20 report I watched about children in foster care that are over-medicated in place of helping them deal with their problems.  It really broke my heart to hear these kids talk about their ordeals.  I mean, where are these kids?  Well, I hate to say it, but they are out of sight and out of mind for me most of the time.  

We aren't foster parents, and I've only known a a handful of families that have been foster parents, and sometimes it doesn't turn out well.  My sister Penny and her husband Floyd have been foster parents to some children from the toughest circumstances I've ever heard of.  How tough it must be for a child to be passed around like a burden, and seen by some foster families as nothing more than supplemental income.  Maybe that's why foster kids are placed in so many homes - so they'll eventually get one of the families that care.  

What would I do?  How would I act?  What would I believe about myself if I was one of those children?  This hurts to even deal with because I know they're out there, hurting.  Many of them feel like they weren't kept because they are defective.  Well, to tell you the truth, we are all defective.  Whoever is reading this, please know that you are "defective".  We are born into this body of sin, and it is the permeating defect that haunts us until the day we die.  If you don't believe it just read Romans 7.  Understanding Romans 7 is one of the most important spiritual growth moments for the human soul.  But my point is that it is NOT their fault that they are in foster care!

We are no different from these children in the fact that we have little to no choice in the way we grew up, good or bad.  Sometimes their parents die young and no extended family will take them.  Most of the time, they are removed from bad family circumstances for their own safety.  Sometimes it's because of illegal activities by the parents, and mom or dad are in jail (or both).  But they are "in the system" because of things that happened to them that were not in their control.

The sad part is that they don't know how to deal with it.  One 15 year old girl has taken to cutting herself, and I just want her to know that when she was abandoned at 3 yrs old, it wasn't her fault!  One girl had been taking medication that incited weight gain, and she weighed 300 lbs.  When Diane Sawyer was talking to her, the girl asked her if she was a foster child, and what I was hearing from her in her question is, "Can I be successful like you since I've got so much baggage being a foster child?" 

One little boy, 7 yrs old, hung himself after being prescribed medication that was known to cause suicidal tendencies, and the hanging was ruled an accident.  But he had a laundry list of medicines he was taking anyway, and the doctors just seemed to add med on top of med instead of even trying to deal with the root cause problem.  Where is the oversight?!!  Where is the accountability?!!  The folks from 20/20 couldn't even get an interview from the Department of Health and Human Services because the agency couldn't figure out which branch department should be in charge of handling their questions!!  My sister Penny had to fight tooth and nail with the government just so she could adopt one of her foster kids because the abusive father in prison wouldn't give up his parental rights.  She finally won, but it took years and that is just wrong!  

For the last couple of days I've had this song in my mind that I just can't shake, so lucky you, I am sharing it for a purpose:  "Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket/ Save it for a rainy day/Oh, save it for a rainy day/Oh, save it for a rainy day."  Then it repeats in it's cheesy unforgettable pattern.  Well, tonight at the Coffee County Christmas Parade, a friend of mine, Keith Lott, was talking and then stopped short and said, "Look at that!"  I turned and looked where he pointed and saw a meteor falling northeast of town.  As it fell it broke in two pieces before it disappeared.  I have seen quite a few falling stars, but never that big or one that had broken in two pieces.  It will probably be the only time in my life that I see such a thing, but I honestly think I will remember that on the night my eyes were opened to the pain of foster children, I saw a double falling star.

How appropriate is that!  How do we catch these falling stars - these children?  I'm just asking God what He wants me to do.  I'm scared at the thought of taking a foster child and not being able to dedicate the time or attention needed to them, or to my four children.  What if I failed them?  What if I loved my own children with preference or treated them differently as to not show any preference?  I'm not really sure what is my part nor what is His plan for me and my family.  But I do want you, whoever is reading this, to ask yourself, "What does God want me to do to help foster children?"  Cleaning up the system is one thing.  Being a foster parent is another.  There is also encouraging parents to get counselling, and promoting counselling to people that need it.  In this regard, Hillary was right - it does take a village.  When we see someone heading down the wrong path, warning them and guiding them is what we should do, instead of just talking about how messed up they are.  The Bible is clear that a watchman who sees danger approaching and says nothing will be judged harshly for that.  Warning people because you care about them is one of the ways to keep kids out of foster care all together.  No reason for foster care, then no foster care.

Please watch that segment of the Dec 2, 2011 20/20 episode on the web if you haven't seen it.  Then you will know what I'm talking about.

--Johnie